Nine months of baby hell

Listening to other parents talk about their babies is like visiting a foreign country. “Our daughter can quietly amuse herself for hours watching her baby-mobile,” claims a member of our Plunket group. “We’re actually getting too much sleep now that the baby’s arrived,” says another. “I was planning to take three months away from work,” asserts a third, “but I had so much time on my hands that I decided to go back early. I’ve also put my name down to foster some teenagers with behavioural problems, and I thought I might study for a Ph.D.”

What a bunch of f**king show-offs.