My last ever drink - why I gave up even though booze never gave up on me

My Last Ever Drink, a long anticipated and much scoffed at affair, took place on the stroke of midnight, October 2nd, 2006. Emerging from my Last Ever Alcoholic Coma that morning, I finally took the bed in a Melbourne detox facility I had reserved several wildly booze-soaked months earlier.

Tremors of withdrawal and craving made it impossible to scrawl my signature on the admission forms, but the kindly male nurse told me, like a seasoned pro, we could wait until the 20 milligrams of Valium he had just administered took effect.